Trying to work through child custody decisions can be a complex matter because you have to deal with your feelings and your ex's wishes. There are several ways that you can make this a bit easier to work through. This can help you and your children to feel more stability and less stress during this time.
One of the most important points to remember is that it doesn't matter how your ex behaved as a spouse as long as they are doing what they should do as a parent. Your focus must be what's going on with the children so that you're able to ensure they're getting what they need.
As you're working through the child custody negotiations, ensure that you don't try to bring up your ex's actions that weren't related to the children. The only time you should bring up the past is when there is a situation that puts your children in danger. An example of this is when there's a history of abuse.
Another point to remember is that you need to consider your child's needs right now. You can't try to set up the custody plan based on what they will need in the future. You and your ex can modify the agreement later if it becomes necessary.
When you're trying to work out the terms of the child custody arrangement, take the time to think carefully about all propositions. Remaining calm and respectful may help you to come up with a plan that works for the children so that they are able to thrive even though they are going through the divorce with you.