It is human nature to compare ourselves to others. Among the situations in which this instinct can raise its head is in a divorce. For example, when a divorcing individual is negotiating a financial settlement with their ex or just reached such a settlement, they may be tempted to look to the divorce settlements their friends or family members have gotten in the past as benchmarks for whether they are getting or have gotten a “good deal.”
However, this can be a risky path to go down. This is because every divorce has its own unique circumstances, with these circumstances influencing what settlement would be the best fit. So, when comparing settlements in two different divorces, you are not really comparing apples to apples. So, there can be a great risk of a person drawing the wrong conclusions when they try to compare a proposed divorce settlement or a divorce settlement they have reached with one from the divorce of a friend or family member.
Such incorrect conclusions could cause a person to significantly second-guess themselves after a divorce settlement has been reached. This could take an emotional toll and get in the way of a person focusing on the future and how to best start off their post-marriage life.
Also, such incorrect conclusions, if made while a person is still in settlement negotiations, could lead to a person pushing for a settlement that isn’t realistic given the situation or wouldn’t actually be the best for their overall interests.
So, it is important to remember that, when it comes to divorce settlements, getting the “same” settlement as a friend or family member is not what matters, what matters is getting the right settlement for your situation. Experienced divorce attorneys understand that the unique details in a divorce matter and can assist divorcing individuals with determining what kind of divorce settlement would be in their best interests given the situation and with their efforts to get a fair settlement.
Source: The Huffington Post, “Why It’s Really Bad To Compare Your Divorce To Other Divorces,” Jackie Pilossoph, Aug. 3, 2016