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How New Yorkers can start fresh after a divorce

Broome County readers may believe that divorce carries little, if any stigma in today’s society. Admittedly, many new marriages do result in divorce, and non-traditional family arrangements are common in New York and across the country. Yet a divorce does require some individual readjustment, emotionally, financially and psychologically.

Although not every divorcing spouse will turn to counseling, other forms of guidance and resources are available to divorcing couples, such as divorce blogs. In that regard, a recent commentator offered several insights. First and foremost, a divorcing spouse should regard the proceeding as a transition, rather than a failure. People enter and exit an individual’s lives at various stages, and for various reasons. Viewing a divorce as a relationship that served its purpose, albeit for a limited time, is much healthier than assigning blame.

As an individual adjusts to post-divorce life, making time for hobbies, or simply keeping existing rituals, can be very therapeutic. For example, if an individual is accustomed to making special meals on certain days, continuing that practice might ease the transition. Believe it or not, choosing a theme song can also be helpful for some individuals. Just like married couples might have a special song, a divorcing spouse might be reminded of his or her priorities by the lyrics of a special song.

Finally, goal setting is another effective technique for acclimating to life as a newly single individual. For parents with kids, that may be planning special events together, above and beyond normal parenting time. For example, a special vacation -- without the other spouse -- might be one way to reassure children that life goes on, albeit in ever-transforming ways.

Source:, “Divorce Care Package: 6 Things You Need To Survive Divorce, According To Mandy Walker,” May 13, 2013

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